How do you encourage a guy to talk about mental health?
Men’s Health Week is a chance to shine a light on the often-silent struggles that many men face with mental health. It’s true that conversations around wellbeing are becoming more common, but there’s still a long way to go - especially when it comes to encouraging men to open up.
Robert Visintainer is the development officer for Wales at the UK Men’s Sheds Association, a grassroots initiative providing safe spaces and community workshops where men can create, connect and converse.
He knows how hard it can be for men to talk – and he knows a thing or three about getting them to share their worries.
Recognise the Signs
It may not be apparent when someone is struggling - especially men, who don’t always show their upset in obvious ways. Robert says actions rather than words are sometimes the giveaway.
“It’s about ‘mateship’,” says Robert. “Noticing those subtle differences in your mate. “Maybe a guy’s not dressing like he usually does, not taking care of himself. You might notice him pulling away from social situations, or skipping hobbies he used to love.
“Don’t dismiss it, give it some thought and know that it’s OK to gently check in – without judgement.”
Find a Safe Space
It’s not always about sitting down and having a deep and emotional talk over coffee. Robert shares that creating a non-threatening, no-pressure environment is what really helps men feel safe and confident enough to share.
For many guys, safe spaces don’t look like counselling rooms, or even the pub. They look like community sheds, backyards, or anywhere that feels familiar and relaxed.
At Men’s Sheds for example, the space is built around doing something with your hands, not your head. It might be woodwork, fixing a bike, or making a cup of tea, but the activity itself becomes the doorway to connection. “You come for the tools, you stay for the talk,” says Robert.
When encouraging a man to open up, think about where he feels most comfortable. The conversation doesn’t have to come first. Sometimes, it follows naturally once trust and comfort are in place.
Talk shoulder-to-shoulder
Face-to-face conversations can feel awkward for many men, so Robert recommends a “shoulder-to-shoulder” approach — literally.
Whether it's fixing something together, walking side by side, or just watching the footy, being alongside each other instead of looking each other in the eye takes the pressure off.
“In the Shed, the best conversations happen when you're working next to someone, not staring at them,” Robert explains.
If you’re trying to encourage a man to talk, try doing something together. Don’t force it. Be patient, present, and ready to listen when he’s ready to speak. Sometimes, just being there is enough to show that he’s not alone.
He’s really not ready to talk? That’s OK, too.
Some men just aren’t ready to open up, and that’s completely OK. Not everyone wants to talk, and not every kind of support has to involve a conversation. That’s where SilverCloud® Wales comes in.
It’s free, confidential online mental health support accessible anytime, anywhere. No appointments, no sofas, no difficult conversations, no pressure. Just practical, lasting tools to help manage anxiety, low mood, stress, and more.
Anyone in Wales aged 16+ who experiencing mild-to-moderate mental health symptoms can sign up without seeing a GP.
Begin today: https://nhswales.silvercloudhealth.com/signup/